So as I sit here, with just over a month until my 30th birthday, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life to this point.  I never really expected my life to take the turns it has over the past 6 months.  I never expected myself to be separated, awaiting a divorce for the first thing.  But it hasn’t been all bad, but it sure hasn’t been all good either.

I just received an invitation to my cousin Thomas’ wedding in October.  And just like those corny made-for-TV movies, it has the dreaded “and guest” that as of this point in time I have no idea how I’m going to fill it out.  I mean, there has been someone I’ve dated a few times, but I’m still unsure where we set as we’re both at different points in our separations, which makes situations like this a little awkward.  I was never good at the dating game to begin with, and being out of the dating game for several years hasn’t helped any, and I can be a little smothering (yes, I’ll admit it), which I know she doesn’t like.  From the few dates we’ve been on, I could see us being very very good friends, if not more (is it wrong to hope for more at this point in time), but does that mean I can or should ask her to be the +1 (and if she reads this and wants to answer) at this point in time?  Maybe all these questions will answer themselves before I need to RSVP, but it really has my mind going overdrive.

So what would you do in my situation?  How would you handle the +1?

Well, let me just say it.  I’m broke, but I’ve had the best time of my life these past few months.  And when I say I’m broke, at least I can say that all my bills are paid and I just have to wait until next paycheck (in a month), so that means not much fun will occur this month (with the exception of things I’ve paid for already). 

When I say a lot has happened, I’m not kidding, especially when you consider that I haven’t posted a real post since the beginning of June and it’s now the beginning of August. 

So let’s start with that I remember.  I took my motorcycle class and got my motorcycle license in the span of a few days.  I purchased a nice Suzuki GS500 (or so I thought when I bought it).  The bike is fun to ride when it’s running.  But it looks like it’s gonna need a new oil seal and a little work, which I’ll do when I’ve got the money for it. 

I closed on my new place at the end of June, so a good chunk of time has been sunk into working on that place.  Well, probably not as much as I should, since I’ve been on a pretty much non-stop party for the past 2 months, which on average 1 night a week off (hence why I’m broke).  But it’s been worth it.  If I’m not at one bar doing karaoke, then I’m at another doing karaoke, playing pool with friends, or just hanging out goofing around on open mic nite. 

Been doing a little bit of dating, on and off, but nothing has gotten too serious.  But one date stands out in my mind, if only for the way it went.  I met M online through Match.com (I’ll admit I’m using Match).  I’m not one for long, drawn out e-mail conversations, I’d rather meet and see if there’s any chemistry, and as much as I like the traditional dinner and movie from days of yore, I’ve been trying to go on unique dates (another reason I’m broke).  So anyways, we decide to meet at Busch Gardens, since we both have passes.  Probably the best decision I made as I think we had a blast.  But the most memorable part of the day was the thunderstorm in the middle of the day!  We spent the entire two hours of the thunderstorm holed up in the Ireland section of BG, just talking, and connecting.  A few more hours at the park and we went to Kelly’s in Chesapeake for dinner and then followed it up with the new Harry Potter movie (2 thumbs up, BTW). 

Monica’s boyfriend’s birthday was early in July, and since Reel Big Fish was coming into town, I bought tickets for the three of us.  The opening bands were OK, nothing to write home about.  The English Beat is really old school ska and was kind of interesting, but didn’t have any of us.  Then came RBF.  They STARTED with Take on Me!!! Holy Shit, it was a night of fucking awesome from that point forward.  I spent a good chunk of the show near the back of the Norva, avoiding the pit and laughing at the 14 year old pit that was going on in the back away from the rough and tumble pit near the front.  But the real fun occured when Monica’s roommate pulled me up front.  You’ve gotta love living on the edge of the pit!  And then, just for shits and giggle I got in the pit for the last few songs.  No worse for wear, I think I can say I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

About 5 months ago I committed to go to the Nickelback concert.  Well, with my finances being as they are, I had them trying to sell my ticket, but no luck, and to be honest I’m glad.  Went with Kelly and his friends to one hell of a show.  We started the night at Longhorn Steakhouse and got truly shitfaced.  Off to the concert and I didn’t realize we had tickets down in the pit.  So there I was only a few rows from the stage since we got there early enough.  Saving Abel was good, but nothing much to write home about.  Papa Roach was probably the highlight of my day, as I absolutely love the song Scars (I added it to my karaoke repertoire a while ago), and they ended with Last Resort.  Gotta love those cutting notes!  Hinder was OK.  Thankfully I knew the stuff off their “popular” album otherwise I wouldn’t have liked it as much.  And then came Nickelback!!  Holy shit, what a god damn fucking rocking show!  And then there was the girl I spent most of the Nickelback portion of the show grinding with, which just made it that much better. 

Memorial day weekend brought me to Nags Head, and introduced me to a cover band called Hyjinx that I absolutely adore.  They’re out of Dewey Beach, MD.  The lead singer Meghan is not only hot, but has one hell of a voice.  So anyways, flash forward to last weekend and they’re back at Kelly’s in Nags Head.  Of course you know I’m going, but I’m gonna get a relaxing weekend out of it as well.  Spent the day Friday on the beach just reading Twilight (yes, I’m reading it, why the hell shouldn’t I?).  Off to Kelly’s after some Karaoke at Mulligans (where, come to find out I would pick up a fan), and to enjoy the band.  Of course the dancing girls were nice too, but they were not the highlight of my night.  Near the end of the night, as they’re packing up their set, Meghan sticks the mic in my face and kind of motions for me to sing something since I was goofing off singing other shit.  So I bust out the opening to “You give love a bad name”.  Needless to say, she comes to me and tells me that I NEED to come back the next night and sing with them and she asks if I’m in a band or anything (I’d love to be, but the times have just not been nice to me).  So, instead of heading back to EC Saturday afternoon, I’m now staying in the Outer Banks.  Nol tells me to come up to Corolla Light and he’ll get me a pass for their beach up there, so I took advantage of it.  The beach was so nice and relaxing, read a bit more and got a little bit more sun.  Back to Kellys around 9 PM and I just kind of kicked back, drank a few beers, thinking she’d forget all about it.  Well, she remembered, and told me I was on during the second set.  Oh My God!  For those of you that don’t know me well, I suffer from stage fright.  Well, the place was dead, so it should be alright.  No, take that back, by the time I got onstage the place was fucking packed and the dance floor was rocking.  Got up, sang my guts out and received an ovation the likes of which I’ve never seen!!  Lots of adrenaline and lots of high fives as I got off the stage, paid up my tab and headed home, as the next day I was going to the O’s/Red Sox game at Camden Yards.

So my life has been pretty rocking in the lifetime experiences department, but not so much in the romance department, but I’ll take it!  Hopefully I’ll write more on this now that I’m single and living the hermit life

One of these days I will actually write a real post again, but until then, enjoy this video!

OK, I’ve been a bad boy, not really in a writing mood for over a month.  I’m still not fully there, but I feel I need to post.  So much has gone on, let’s see if I can get it out as a bunch of quick hits. 

I’ve been on one date, while not the best, did give me someone I can hopefully hang out with and watch some Sox games with.  The other two can be classified as stand up busts, though one is trying to get together still and make it up. 

I’ve hung out with my cousin Monica, had a blast, sung some really cheesy karaoke (we’re talking midi background and mismatched words if lucky type).  I won’t complain about Sweet Georgia Brown versions of karaoke when I’m out anymore

I may have pissed off a few folks at the USBC meetings, but I can say that I’ve accomplished a lot in my short tenure as USBC association president.  We’re finally past all the past issues, have found ways to move forward, and are finally making progress on new projects and have put to bed all the old issues that caused no progress to be made.  I may not be president after August (when they vote in new officers), but I can say I helped straighten things out.

Speaking of bowling, our team won the last third of the season, entitling us to the roll off.  Unfortunately, I was not myself and sucked so much the first game it cost us any chance of success, so we wound up in fourth place overall (still not bad in general)

NC has implemented a statewide .5% pay cut for all employees for the months of May and June, so I’ve lost about $50 net off my paycheck this month and next.  The concern hitting us will be what the state does for the next fiscal year.  The rumors are many and varied, and I just hope they don’t do too much to our salaries.  I love the job too much and really don’t want to leave.

I close on my new place at the end of the month.  I’ll finally be able to re-settle my life and start changing the place to suit me.  That’s the one issue with renting:  not being able to really change the place to your liking.  Additionally I’ll be able to hook my satellite back up, which means I’ll be able to watch MLB again!!  That might be enough to keep me from going out every single night and drinking myself into a stupor, like I’ve done the past few weeks. 

And in final news, I take the motorcycle safety class at the end of the month.  This means I’ll be able to finally get my motorcycle license and a motorcycle!!  The open roads are calling. 

With that, take it easy everyone and peace out!

Wow, I just don’t know where to begin. I feel like the center of so much that it isn’t even funny, yet most of it isn’t me, but to be fair, everyone has some drama, and I’m no exception.

So let’s be good and start with my personal drama (since it is my blog after all). As most of you know, I’ve been separated (almost 3 months now) with 9 months to go befotre the divorce is final. So, I’m trying to make the best of it, and move forward with my life. We’ve filed the separation agreement, so we’re both just biding our time until the year NC makes us wait is up. It’s getting less awkward to see her as time goes on, but if my past history is any indication, it will take some time to be fully over it (referencing the 2003 issues I had with the bowling alley). Dated someone for a little while shortly after the separation (my rebound girl if you will). Of course it didn’t work out, due to issues on both our parts, but I still talk to her as a friend. I’ve been single since then, and that’s where the drama begins, a tale of three girls. Let’s call them A, M, and T. I’ve known A since high school and she still lives in my home state. She is recently divorced, and is going through a lot of the same emotional turmoil I am (on top of her own business I won’t discuss here). Well, I’ve always liked A, and I have no problem letting her know that. But we’re both too far away from each other for one, and she’s not ready for a relationship at this point in time (which she’s been very clear about). And then there’s T. Very young and likes me to no end, but I don’t feel the same about her. I’m only friends with her and I’m not looking for anything with her, but she has a hard time understanding that. And then there’s M, the enigma. Grapevine says she would like to know more about me, and I’d like to know more about her (of course passed back on the grapevine), but our shyness has not made it easy (damn shyness, why must you haunt me so). So I’m trying to break out of my shell, at almost 30. Not an easy task in any way, but one I’m trying to take upon myself.

And then there’s the house hunting.  I’ve been trying to purchase the house of a friend’s ex, K.  Long story short, he’s going to lose the place if it’s not sold soon, so I figured we could help each other out.  Well, I submitted the original offer through my realtor, and K’s father got involved, basically sinking the whole deal (this has been 2 weeks running).  Well, after some time, and some negotiating with K’s father, and due to my being involved, my realtor dumped me last weekend, as she felt she couldn’t work for my best interests.  OK, so I redid all the numbers (since I’m now saving 2.5% commission), and sent the numbers to K’s father.  Well, long story short, he’s an ass and can’t respond on time to anything.  But, it looks like things may go through on that one.

And then to complicate matters, there is a slew of other drama surrounding me which I’m not going to even get into, as much as I want to rant about it.  I just wonder if it’s worth it some days.

Seen on 38 Pitches, from a book on Teddy Roosevelt:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Wow, how true is that for life anyways?? A wise person once told me you learn more from failure than you do from success. I guess he and Teddy were on the same page. Thanks Dad!

Current Mood: Cool & Playful

To begin with, the photos from this weekend can be seen by clicking on the Photos link near the top of the page.

So with everything that has gone on between Nicole and I, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, trying to find who I was and the happy Dan that everyone knows is deep down inside.  While this weekend did not get me all the way there, it was definitely a big improvement in finding who I am.  And not for the reasons you’d think either.  Let’s start with Friday night

Friday night began like every other one.  After work I went bowling as has been the trend on Friday nights.  Nicole keeps showing up, and I know she doesn’t care that it tears me up inside (for reasons that I won’t get into on this blog).  After bowling, I went to The Marina.  Karaoke as usual on Friday nights, but this night would be different.  Everything just felt right to party, so party I did.  With friends present, we can say that I got a little drunk.  Tequila shots were going down pretty smooth.  After closing, a botched first housing attempt, my friends and I wound up at one friend’s house to sober up.  Lots of bullshitting and more bullshitting would abound.  A 4 in the morning trip to IHOP, and I finally made it home by 6 AM.  A few hours of sleep and the day would begin again

On to Saturday.  After a trip into town to pick up the mail and some basics for my trip to Busch Gardens on Sunday, I got back to the house and settled in to some basic house chores (yes, I do actually do chores no matter what my ex says).  I got a call reminding me that Jon was supposed to take me out sailing.  I was on that like white on rice .  So I got into town and went sailing for the first time ever.  Now mind you, I have never ever been out on a sailboat before, so this in and of itself was kind of cool.  And the peace that can be found out on the water is just what it takes to see deep inside ones self.  After a ride home to cook dinner (steak, tater tots, and green beans), and I headed out to Karaoke.  After a few hours of karaoke with a few of my friends I headed home to climb into my cozy bed to dream sweet dreams of the next day. OK, it sounded better and less cheesy before I wrote it.

Sunday came in with a bang, well actually, I kind of woke up before my alarm.  So I got up, took my normal morning routine and made sandwiches for my trip to BG.  I decided this morning that I was going to take pictures from the rides (technically against the rules).  But I did want safety, so I had to have some way to keep my phone from flying off.  So, a Wiimote strap and things looked good.  But little did I know how amusing the day was going to wind up.  Off to the park then, spending almost the whole trip talking to my step-mother about my plans for the near future, what’s been going on in my mind, and other things not to be posted.  I got to the park at 9:45, off to get my Season Pass, and the day would really start to get fun.  Of course, Busch Gardens has a Sesame Street theme this year, which I’m not too enthused with, but hey, it’s in the England pavilion which I usually only see on the way in and the way out.  10:00 would roll on by and off to the Griffon.  Next to no line made it very easy to get on the front row.  Unfortunately, my phone is not that great and I missed my first shot.  So, after the ride, back on again for attempt number two.   With ease, I was able to capture the shot I wanted.  Of course, a quick pix message to Facebook and I’d be off to the next ride.  Well, you couldn’t go through to Germany until 11, so that meant walking all the way back the other way to Italy, and  of course, since I didn’t have anyone directing my pace, I decided to walk through the wildlife refuge portion and get some pics.  The wolves are looking really white this time of year, which just looks kind of neat.  A stop off to see the Clydesdales (and it should be noted, one shares my name), and I’d be off to Apollo’s Chariot.  I think I only got the ascent on Apollo’s Chariot as I wanted to just enjoy the ride, but I did get a pretty cool self pic.  After a quick detour to the Battering Ram, I’d head out to grab lunch (nothing big, just the sandwiches I’d made earlier in the day).  Now it was well past 11, so the rest of the park was open.  To let my lunch settle (and the Diet Pepsi I wound up buying), I’d do another thing I’d never done before, the River Boat.  Very peaceful, and I got some very neat pics of the Loch Ness Monster from the river.  But, pics from off the rides were not today’s target.  So off to the Loch Ness Monster, and a wonderful trip.  Front row, as seemed to be par for today.  Next to no lines was also the norm for today.  I screwed up my first shot but was able to reset in order to capture the second loop of the intertwined loops.  By far the coolest photo of the day.  Some more wandering and I caught the Pet Shenanigans show.  Just a chance to relax, and the female trainers are kind of cute .  On to Big Bad Wolf after the show (actually I was kind of just meandering and decided that’s what I was gonna do).  While waiting on the line, the wife of a friend showed up with her friends.  Seemed kind of odd she’d be there without her 4 kids.  So I let him know and enjoyed my ride.  Front row, I caught a great pic of the water as I was flying out over it.  Only one coaster left, Alpengeist.  After a long wait, probably my longest of the day, I finally made it into the front row.  The guy on the line asked me to put away my phone, even though it was strapped to my hand.  Doh!  So I waited until the car was moving and got it back out.  I got my picture (well, my hand was kind of in the shot, but I got a pic of the corkscrew).  But it would be my last of the day.  Yes, I finally got caught, and after a wait for Security I got escorted out.  But to be honest it wasn’t a bad experience.  The ride leader who pulled me aside was very nice, re-explained the policies I had ignored, and then we chatted about the Sox a bit as he was originally from Methuen, Mass.  The security guard showed up, I shook both their hands, and then went off with the security guard.  They weren’t asking me to give up my season pass as I had been very cooperative and the ride leader felt I wouldn’t do it again (which I actually won’t since I got what I wanted already).  Had a good laugh with the security guard and his supervisor as they took me out the back way.  In fact, they gave me a tour of the backlot of Busch Gardens, then we talked for a little bit about how things have been since InBev took over AB.  We also talked about the loss of Beer School.  So all in all, I can’t complain about how I was treated and I’m sure the security folks enjoyed not having a hard case to deal with (the pic of my Statement of Trespass Warning is also posted).  On my way home, I decided I would go out to eat since I had spent so little.  So when in Hampton Roads, I decided to go see Monica at The Taphouse.  Good times, had an excellent steak kabob and two beers and went home to relax for the rest of the night. 

What a weekend!!

If you’re not into reading about my life drama, you may want to skip this post …

Well, I think it’s safe to say I have trust issues stemming from my recent separation from Nicole (and honestly, who could blame me). I keep telling myself it’ll be ok and I can just get over it, but I can’t. Moving on, as they say, should be done with time, and I’m worried that by rushing my moving on, I’ve fucked up the relations with the person I care about and seems to care about me in a more than being a friend way. I mean, if I can’t trust the one close to me and I truly care about, then what hope is there for anything between us in the future, or for my relationships with anyone in the future? I try, but my paranoia about being hurt or neglected gets the best of me and I wind up doing stupid things, like checking her accounts and being jumpy whenever she talks to other guys. While some comes from her past, the paranoia is all me. That isn’t me, it never has been, so why did I shift so quickly? Have I truly changed because of what happened with Nicole? Will I ever truly trust someone and let them be close to me again? I just don’t know the answers to these questions yet, but I hope I haven’t fucked things up too much with those around me now that things can’t be fixed.

Well this will just be a random thought fest, so enjoy.  Some are happy, some are sad, some are just informational.

Cut my hair shortly after the separation began.  Missing my old hair, so now I’m in the awkward hair phase (somewhere in between the spike length and a length I can start combing again)

I had a leg cramp on Saturday that’s still affecting me.  My left calf has never hurt so much, even when I was working out day after day.  Tried working it out a little bit, but I don’t think I was hitting the right muscle.

Nicole and I filed the separation papers a week ago last Friday.  I only have a few more things to get from the garage and my Christmas ornaments at Christmas time and all will be completely separate.  The Land Rover title should be mine soon at which time I think our last billing tie (insurance) will be separate. 

Is it really appropriate to crash your ex-spouse’s night out?

My new TV should be here Friday.  I ordered a 52″ Sharp Aquos LCD from Dell for a decent price.  This should replace the hole in my home theater from leaving the 61″ and 57″ with Nicole.  Not to mention the fact that it has 5 HDMI ports which means I can go completely HDMI with the exception of the Wii. (Edit:  The TV showed up TODAY!)

My new computer should be here in 2 weeks.  A new quad-core Dell with 8 GBs of RAM.  It has a 750 gig drive and the 750 gig I have at home will make a nice iTunes library store as I rebuild my collection from the ground up (trying to go as legit as possible this time around)

Internet will be hooked up Wednesday.  Between this and my new Belkin (I can’t believe I’m going away from Linksys) wireless N router, I should be able to connect from anywhere in the house as opposed to the corner of my bed with my neighbor’s Wifi.

I should be staying put for the next 6 months.  This will allow Nicole time to refi the old house and let it disappear from my credit.  A win win as now I don’t have to rush her (saving even having to talk to her and risk being bitched at for something else she’s unhappy with and feels like blaming me for)

Got the satellite off the roof of the old house.  Don’t know where or how I’m going to hook it up at this point or if it’s even worth it for just 6 months.  Maybe I can borrow a Birddog and get it hooked up properly. 

Had a bad day that started Friday night (see the above question) and didn’t really go away until this morning.  Just one of those days feeling lonely when everything that hits you seems to just hit deep even though most days it’d just roll off your back.  Thanks go out to my friends who know who they are.

Met a girl

Signed up for Facebook.  Finding a lot of family on there, which is nice.  Some I had lost track of.

Going to be a judge in a karaoke contest this coming weekend.  Sponsored by The Jaycees and held at The Marina, there will be cash prizes and everything.  Part of me wishes I was participating, but sometimes you just need to serve a higher purpose.

Got rid of my iPhone.  I miss the phone itself, but not the service.  I switched to Verizon Wireless and I’m finding things to be working great.  And being able to actually make and receive calls both in my office and at the place I’m renting .. big bonus .  I picked up the LG enV2 (small phone, flips open to keyboard) so at least I don’t have to remember how to T9 text.  My number hasn’t changed as I had it ported over. 

I’ve kept off the 15 pounds for 2 weeks now, but I haven’t lost any more, so all is really good on that front.

Well I think that hits most of the highs and the lows.  Keep in touch everybody.